Are You My Mother?

What would you do if you wanted to give someone a birthday present, and you could not mail anything?

Some people send electronic cards.  Others use the telephone and sing.  An April 2014 General Conference talk brought a great idea in a way to celebrate birthdays here and now--by remembering people and stories of "there and then" to help children and children's children learn "Who do you think you are?" and find a few links in wishes, happenings, and tales of the past.

So, it is Mom's birthday.

At the end of July, Mom sent out an email titled "Are You My Mother?"  echoing a fun Dr. Seuss book we often read, featuring a baby bird questioning everyone around to learn where he came from, finally to have a friendly machine (a "Snort") return him to his nest, safe and sound, reuniting with his true family. 

My response of emailing  diary, life story, with a few photos and the elementary graduation certificate of our mother's mother prompted more thinking as Mom's birthday draws near.  Not everyone has wherewithal to scour 29 pages in one sitting. 

I remember how Laurel Thatcher Ulrich found a daily diary of a midwife that many historians passed by, overlooking because it was a day to day discourse of a revolutionary war time woman going house to house delivering babies.  But even without war or monumental events, Sister Ulrich reached into Martha Ballard's daily log to find and carve a Pulitzer prize winning book documenting a late 18th century family and neighborhood.  The scope of my efforts will be but a few pages, winning hopefully a prize of hearts that with mine, may better come to know the author--a junior class president  turning 18 year old; concluding as a young mother, having welcomed three children into home, who comes to understand that her turn on earth will end prior to her 25th birthday.

If you have the energy to peruse four pages, I recommend the Life History of Lucille Rowbury Hillman begun Sunday March 6, 1932, a month shy of her 18th birthday.  Lucille outlines growing up as third child

3 eldest: Virgil (b.1912) Lucille (b.1914) Denzel (b.1911)

  and eldest daughter in a family of seven boys and six girls

Lucille (b. 1914) with  next younger siblings, Francis (b. 1915) and Rex (b. 1917)

in a farm house in southeastern Idaho.  Her school days are peppered with interest in transportation and family health challenges with comments such as "I started school at Shelley when I was six years old.  [Her two older brothers] Denzel, Virgil, and I went for a while on old 'Kate'.  One morning after it had been raining, we had just gone a short distance when our horse fell down.  We had to get up and lead her back home to have my father lift us onto her again..." 

This looks to be just before Lucille begins school
          Back: Denzel, Lucille, Virgil,
Front: William with Rex, Francis, Edna with Pearl

Also,  "We went back to Shelley for the third grade and the rest of my grade school days except the eighth grade, always going in either a buggy or a sleigh and having several runaways and many exciting experiences." 

(here is a help to imagine a sleigh ride from yesteryear)

School was an interest to Lucille.  She encapsulates some of her experiences:  "West Firth was a one-room building with one teacher...  I was the only eighth grade student.  I found many friends ...and I began to take more interest in social life while there.  I graduated with an average of ninety-five percent.  That spring my mother was very ill, leaving most of the housework to me while I was taking examinations, etc.  In spite of this I went to Blackfoot to the County Spelling Contest and took seventh place [with no spelling instruction that year]."

This is Lucille's Elementary school diploma

Lucille holding Floyd, with Dayton

"The following September I started high school at the Firth High School at Firth, Idaho.  I went only six weeks when on October 14, 1928, twins, a boy and a girl blessed our home.  So I had to stay out of school to help mother.  I received a lot of training in responsibility, however, which more than compensated for the loss of a year at school.  I started school again the following fall.  I made good grades and enjoyed my school work more because I had missed a year. "

"My junior year at high school was one of my years of greatest achievement.  I was president of the class, which was a big responsibility for me as I was very timid and self-conscious.  I will always be thankful for the training I received in holding this position.  I received very good grades all year and carried on a very active social life as well.  On the evening of April 14^th we held our Junior Promenade.  This was the first time I was ever escorted by the boy I later married.  From my eighteenth birthday until we were married a little more than a year later we went many places in his Model “T” Ford “bug” which is now a coupe and is still taking us where we want to go. 

  

      Here are my best stabs at capturing that beloved vehicle that is 

featured in the journal with multiple flat tires, lots of fixings, and finally a body change from bug to coupe

There is one more below, with Lucille with her toddlers

"My senior year at Firth High was very successful.  I worked hard on a business course and had my name on the High Honor roll every six weeks during the term.  I won a pin for taking first place in bookkeeping at the District Contest in Pocatello, Idaho.  I also gave the valedictory address at our graduation exercises on May 12, 1933.  Although I won honors and was very

successful in my school work my ideal was not to gain scholastic achievement, but to gain enough education so that I could someday marry a good Mormon boy and make a good home for our family.  I believe that the last days are here and it is more important for us to keep God’s commandments and seek his way than to become worldly wise.  During the time I attended school I also attended Sunday School and all other meetings I could, going with my parents.  I always liked church and I have always had a testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true."

Lucille then documents her marriage:  "I was married June 23, 1933, to Horace Floyd Hillman in the Logan temple at Logan, Utah.  We are living now, December 14, 1933 about four miles from Shelley and about one mile from my folk’s ranch.

"We have both taken a great interest in church work.  I was sustained a teacher of the Church History Class in the Sunday School and I am enjoying that responsibility greatly.  Floyd was made second counselor in the superintendency a few weeks later.  We have also taken quite an interest in Genealogical work.  We went to the Logan temple on an excursion November 21 till the 24^th.  We did endowment work for six people.  We are beginning research work on the Hillman line.  We have only begun but hope to go on with this wonderful work.

"This completes my life story to the present date.  Now I will try to keep as accurate a record as I can of our married life, which I hope will be very complete and happy.

The next section of her life story is written  when Shirley is five months old and speaks of her love for her family and each of her three children, one by one: "My married life so far has been very satisfactory and I feel that God is watching over us and protecting us.  I have had a great deal of experience in responsibility and have learned many things.  One of the big things a person must learn in married life is the art of self-control.  Sometimes it seems rather hard but I can say that so far we have been very happy and we have received some of life’s richest blessings."

If you look behind Lucille with her three, you can see the Model T

She talks about their beginning to build their own home after the birth of their second child:  "Floyd has done practically all of the work himself and we have worked and saved to try to get something of our own and to give our children a chance.  I have learned to help by saving.  I have made over and sewed nearly all of the children’s clothes and tried to save in every way I could and Floyd has worked hard to make a living for us. "

Close to a year following this entry, a new author finishes the story.  It is penned by a grief-stricken young father mourning his departed companion: 

"Lucille, for several years expected God to call her from her mission here on earth so she has well prepared her life for the transfer.  At the birth of ... her last [baby] some unknown way she was left not entirely right internally and from that time on life was unhealthy.  She was left home alone most of the winter of 1937-1938.  She did a brave job of caring for our babies.  I was away selling brushes trying to make money for us to live on.  On March, 21^st 1938, I returned home.  Soon after which we moved to the Rowbury farm.  We had rented it for the summer.  Lucille, being partly sick did not make it so well, so in June we had her tonsils taken out.  She lost a great deal of blood and as a result was weaker than before.  She would take sinking spells...so we took her to the Idaho Falls Hospital where she was examined by fine doctors.  No medicine was given and she was discharged as being well.  I cannot believe this to be true.  It must have been a case overseen by one Greater, who was watching and planning her life.  In November, we moved home here in Shelley.  Work lessened and she became stronger and felt better.  At Christmas time I got a chance to go to Utah to see my folks and after talking things over she gave her consent for me to go.  I left with an understanding that if for any reason she did not do well she would let me know... On January 8^th, I went to see dad and returned to Mammoth at 3:00 pm that day.  A telegram awaited me so I caught the train and was home at 2:30 am on the 9^th.  I was surely surprised to find they had taken her to the hospital on January 7^th.  I have never seen anyone so tickled to see anyone in my life as she was to see me.  I even cried and so did she with joy.  She told me she was afraid that I would not get there in time. 

"Spiritually and bodily she began to get better.  I prayed for her life to be spared if it were God’s will.  On about January 12^th she had a great change for the worse but a greater fighter I have never seen.  She started to recover again.  We decided to give her blood transfusions so we gave her six of them.  First, I gave one, then Virgil, then me, then Virgil, then Rex, then June.  She sure looked to be conquering until she began to break out in sores.  Her whole body was one big sore.  Still she did not give up and it looked as though she was going to make it.  On January 19^th a lump came on her neck just like mumps.  It got larger and larger until it affected her breathing.  Finally, at 1:00 o’clock on January 20, 1939 she was relieved of all earthly suffering. ...Her funeral was held in the Shelley First Ward on January 24, 1939 at 1:00 pm.  May it always be said that a truer more sincere, loveable girl with higher ideals and determination to serve her God, husband, and leaders, and to work for her family, has or will ever be placed in mortality upon this earth.  Amen. "  [Horace Floyd Hillman]

I wanted to include what I learned from reading the 25 typewritten pages of journal.  I can encapsulate themes from the eyes of a 17 year old young woman into--friends, family, finishing important things, fun, and farm life.  The record gets sparse and ends after a fiancé binds himself into the photograph, but the story begins at the introduction of a reason to write:

9 January 1932: I'll have to be careful what I write.  But I want to [compare] with the other kids.  "Goodnight Sweetheart till we meet tomorrow."

 a daily friend, to pen events, thoughts, and wishes.   I counted several  "eventless" days...but most days were filled with events. 

Rowbury farm house

Farm life includes entries of as a the family helping round up, shear, and care for (new baby) sheep,

(shearing sheep)

 (+ more baby lambs)

                               (baby lambs)

 fighting  

crickets

incurring chicken thieves, and watching six cows drown in a river (24 Jan 1932), irrigating, hoeing beets, and cutting spuds or potatoes 

(picking potatoes)

when it is too wet to weed.  Lucille sews (and makes older clothing into newer) clothing for her siblings.   

1928 sewing machine

Her energy and focus with her schoolwork in a farming community might be perplexing, but recognizing she is bright and has missed substantial amounts of school, understanding what it is like to be without it, having missed it her full freshman year to help her mother care for twin siblings.  Lucille finds a way to fit in homework between housework, farm work, parties and illnesses, worrying and stressing but in the end, making time to study everything from civics to physics, threatening to fail but eventually surprising herself.

7 January 1932: "Only 80% in History and 0 for 2 daily grades so I am working hard for the semester tests next week.  I studied all day and again tonight." 

She misses parties, she misses Mutual, and she church (and she likes church) to concentrate on preparing for tests.

10 January 1932: "I didn't go to Sunday School but stayed home and studied most of the day."

14 January 1932: "Home again today.  I tried to get the rest of my Economics and History done.  I am so worried about the semester exams which come next week.  I am so afraid I won't get as high grades as I want.  I have studied so hard this semester and I am trying to get over some of my foolishness."

19 January 1932: "Studying again, but I am accomplishing a little bit I believe.  I didn't go to Mutual tonight because I had to study. "

9 February 1932:  "I have been very busy making up work etc. all day.  I took three exams today.  We took the college entrance test.  I'm sure a busy and worried girl.  The college entrance test turned out grand.  I received the very highest in the school with 326 points.  Gee I'm proud."

20 February 1932:  "I don't remember just when the semester ended but I didn't do so bad.  I received an average of 93 1/2% or second highest in the school...  You see I really am enjoying school.  It is a lot of work but why not?"

Hoeing beets

Thinking about our children, and learning from a daily journal the evolution of a romance from a friendship in a group of many,  from Lucille's journal of days of going from one social gathering to another in between farm work and studying (and boy does she study)...in between helping care for preschool twins and young children underfoot, helping her mother with dinner and dishes, a farming father hoe sugar beets, then acting as class president, orchestrating a junior prom and school play. )

Lucille's father and mother's wedding photo

It is interesting to note how much Lucille cares about the opinions of her parents:

4 Jan 1932 "I am feeling rather blue tonight [because her Dad expressed disappointment to her.]  He doesn't know how I long for his love. "  He does not understand her passion for school work.

11 Feb 1932:  "I am very busy and worried these days.  I study all the time.  Dad thinks it's silly but I don't see what else I can do and get through. I am surely tired."

And he teases her about boys,

28 June 1932 "We did the washing today.  I did most of it for a change.  We also finished last week’s ironing and cleaned up the house.  Mr. Ross came selling goods and while he was here, Dad nearly teased me to death about Floyd"

but in the end, he blesses her choice of sweetheart.

About her mom:

12 Jan 1932 "I worked all day to try to please Mother and keep awake.  Mother is the dearest friend I have on earth..."

16 Jan 1932: "I hope it will be a success and Mother and Dad will like the kids.  I do want to please them.  Nothing matters more than that."

Her older brother announces his marriage and in promising to keep this a temporary secret, she writes:  27 Aug 1932: "I didn’t tell [Mother] because I had promised.  It seems funny not telling her about everything I know, though. "

  

About her friends:  a Mutual party: 15 Mar 1932: "I had only a percale dress on but I surely had a nice time.  I danced with [two brothers and seven young men.]  I didn't figure on dancing but I just couldn't stop even if I had oxfords on."

Lucille with three brothers,  whom she includes her siblings in her list of friends and dancing partners

She write about being unsure of her feelings:

8 March 1932: "I sure like [another young man, Shirley] as a friend, but I sometimes think Floyd is the only one.  Maybe I'm wrong, but how am I to tell.  I like them all.  Maybe I can tell better when I get older."

But little by little, she begins to decide: 

14 April 1932:  "Oh I like Floyd and I just can’t help it.  He sure treats me swell lately.  If you won’t tell I will tell you a secret.  Floyd (kissed) me tonight for the first time.  It is my birthday tonight.  I am 18 and there couldn't be a happier girl. 

24 April 1932: "Floyd went along, too, so do you blame me for feeling so good.  Maybe I’m crazy but 'he’s the one I care for'.  Goodnight."

27 April 1932:  "I am enjoying life more right now that I have ever done before... Maybe this sounds silly but I am 18 and I have a heart and love. "

20 June 1932: "Floyd is going to Goshen to work so I’ll only get to see him about once a week.  I’ll surely miss him I know.  I surely do think a lot of him.  Last night he told me that he cared more for me than he ever had or any other girl.  I am so glad."

3 July 1932: "Floyd told me he loved me tonight and I believe he does and I love him too.  I hope we always do."

5 July 1932: "I have just been working and trying to stay awake all day.  I keep thinking about last night.  I mustn’t write it all because what seems dear to me may seem silly to anyone who might read this. But I feel so happy when he calls me “sweetheart” and I want to always be his sweetheart."

10 July 1932: "Floyd read my diary today.  I don’t know whether or I should have let him or not but I have learned to trust him a lot and I don’t believe that I have misplaced that trust."

25 July 1932: "(I had a good time). I always do when I am with Floyd."

One of my favorite quotes comes on 22 June 1932 when Lucille writes: 

22 October 1932: "Dear Friend...Floyd has been here a lot since I write last.  He is helping with the beets now.  That isn’t all, Diary.  I’ve promised [to marry him] and I’m glad.  I can’t wait for school to let out.  I am a senior this year and I am going to graduate if I can.  It will mean so much to me.  I’ll try not to neglect you so again, Diary.  I’ve missed you.  I’m really living now more than ever before and I want to remember it when I’m old." [Italics added.]

Mom found some letters Floyd wrote from Bear River to Lucille (see below).

 

29 December 1932: "[Floyd] asked Dad for me Christmas eve.  I have never experienced such a thrill as when Dad gave his consent.  I was so happy, Diary.  I hope I will always be happy with him and I believe I will.  We have both got a great deal of comfort from you Diary.  I only wish I could have kept you better.  Maybe things in here may seem silly to some but they have been the greater part of my life—my happiness.  I love him now as I always did and I hope nothing will ever tear us apart.  Trouble sometimes comes up, of course, but love is a great thing to help us through them.  Well, goodbye, dear Diary, I am going to lay you away and read you in later years when you will remind us both of our great happiness and love.  And maybe you can help us [and upcoming generations] to keep it. Lucille."  [Italics added.]

This is a note written by Lucille's brother Virgil, who married Lucille's best friend Leah Hill.

Here is mom's note of the same:
LUCILLE'S BEST FRIEND WAS LEAH HILL.  LEAH HILL MARRIED VIRGIL ROWBURY IN THE LOGAN TEMPLE, ON THE SAME DAY AS FLOYD AND LUCILLE WERE MARRIED THERE, ON JUNE 23, 1933.  THEY DROVE TOGETHER TO GO TO THE TEMPLE AND BE MARRIED.  THEY SAT OUTSIDE, ON THE TEMPLE GROUNDS, UNTIL DUSK, AND THEN DROVE HOME TO SHELLEY, IDAHO. THE COUPLES CELEBRATED THIS ANNIVERSARY TOGETHER, FOR MANY YEARS,  WHEN LUCILLE DIED, MY FATHER MARRIED LAVERNE HALE, ON THE SAME DATE, SOME YEARS LATER, AND THE ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS CONTINUED WITH THE FAMILY OF VIRGIL AND LEAH, FOR MANY YEARS LATER.  ALL OF THE CHILDREN REMEMBER THESE FUN CELEBRATIONS.

This photo was taken shortly after Lucille's death: Back: Denzel, Frances, Virgil, Rex
Middle: Dayton, Pearl, Floyd, June
Front: Grandma Edna, Edna, Edwin, William

Rowbury family after Lucille's death

Here is Arlene, Orin (with infant brother Ray, b. 3/1940), Shirley 

(This picture is taken after January 1939, as Lucille is missing.  Bottom right is Floyd holding Orin, Arlene.  Behind looks like Shirley held by June.  Woman in floral, center is Grandma Edna. )

Here are Shirley, Grandpa Rowbury, Orin, Arlene  as teens)

So maybe as we read in later years, we can be reminded of great happiness and love.  And maybe we can keep it!

 Happy Birthday, Mom.

Love,

Laurene, Kristen, your flock of Gees

and burgeoning fan club